DILEMMA

I had this friend in college who turned out to not really be my friend. There are a lot of reasons why I stopped talking to her but the biggest and most important one is that she was exceedingly manipulative. She used everyone she came into contact with in some way or another. She used me for money and validation mostly. I think she saw me as this weak girl with a low self image that she could take advantage of. She used me for money, she used me for pot, she used me to feel better about herself.

Once I finally stopped taking Prozac and woke up from my stupor I realized what was actually going on pretty quickly. Without the fog of an SSRI in my system I realized that she had been kinda awful throughout our entire time being friends. I wasn't about to subject myself to that crap anymore.

The final straw was an incident with a mutual friend that wasn't really important at all. It was the WAY my ex-friend handled the situation that made me want to walk away. I realized that she was the kind of person with no morals of her own. She would mold herself to suite the situation and the people in the room at the time. If the people in the room thought doing this one kind of thing was wrong or bad so did she, but as soon as those people left and she was with a different group her values changed completely. I am of the opinion that it's never OK to hit someone. Not ever. She is of the opinion that it would be too much trouble to get involved if a friend is being abused or if one friend hits another unprovoked because it's not "her business". That kind of bullshit doesn't sit right with me or Jon.

Speaking of Jon, he saw a lot of what happened between this friend and I. Let me say that Jon isn't the kind of person who sides with you just because you're his friend/girlfriend. If you're fucking up he's gonna let you know no matter who you are or what relationship you have with him. That's one of he reasons I like him so much. Honesty matters to me! In this case Jon was on my side because I was in the right. My friendship and loyalty were being abused by this girl and he didn't think that was OK. Not just because I'm his girlfriend but because you shouldn't treat people like I was being treated. Not ever. You just don't do it. So I cut all ties with this girl and never really looked back. It wasn't a malicious thing towards her, it was about saving myself from future grief. If I had stayed friends with this girl and continued to let her abuse our friendship that would have been MY fault for not getting out while I could. So I did.

Now she's sent me this message of Facebook demanding an apology and wanting to know why I "dumped her for my new boyfriend". It was a very telling message. This girl still thinks the world owes her. She thinks that I owe her my life for being friends with me. I don't think I owe her a thing, and if I ever did at any point that debt would have been paid after the hundreds and hundreds of dollars I spent keeping us stoned for the last 2 years. I'm not exaggerating either. Pot costs $$, she didn't have any to spend on pot. She sure as hell expected me to share mine with her though. She would go on and on about how she would repay me next time she bought weed but she never did. When she actually had pot it was the gross kind that gives you headaches. But I wasn't about to not share. I had weed and I didn't want to sit at home like a jerk and smoke it all alone. That's not fun!

It turns out I would rather not smoke at all than be taken advantage of like that. Anyway, I digress. The bottom line is I don't owe this girl an apology for finally sticking up for myself and realized I deserve more than to be used and abused in the guise of friendship. I'll never apologize for dropping her like an old bag of moldy tangerines.*

*I will make you cookies if you get that reference.