SLACKER

I haven't been doing much of anything out here. It's like being marooned on a deserted island. I see about as many people as you would see on a desolate little island in the middle of the pacific and there's about as much to do. So I sit, I read, I do stupid stuff online. I ran out of pink yarn so I can't finish the scarf I was working on. It's too hot to cast any resin. Thank goodness for the Harry Potter books or I'd be a pathetic blob of pudding sobbing on my bed.

It takes so much WORK not to go totally nuts. Being bored is getting on the express train to Crazy Town. Having nothing to keep you occupied while you worry about stuff you can't do anything about isn't healthy. I've had way too much time to think about everything and that leads to doubting myself and other people in my life. Most of me knows that it's temporary, it'll be over forever once I get to Boston. There's this little part of me that keeps saying that I'll never get there. This little, evil, nagging voice keeps telling me that things will be different between Jon and I. That I can't trust him. I keep having to fight down this feeling that he's sick of me. I don't know if it's because having a relationship over the phone is one of the hardest (and worst) things to do... Or maybe I'm sick of myself - and feeling like this - so I expect everyone else to hate my attitude too. I know I haven't been easy to listen to. I know it's hard to be Jon in this situation. He can't help me at all accept by finding us a house, and he's working on that.

I just can't shake these yucky feelings that everything is wrong. All I can do is hope that I'll feel better once I'm not in Moab Utah anymore.

NEW SHIRT!

Danielle gave me this new shirt as a late birthday/Christmas present! It has a CUPCAKE! I love cupcakes! Threadless shirts are the freaking best!

She had three shirts for me to choose from and of course I went for the cake. That was pretty obvious no?

I'm staying with Danielle and her boyfriend Mike at their place in Denver for the week. No more Sarasota for me. I had to leave my Honeybear behind. He's gonna stay in SRQ for the next two months doing stuff and saving up so that we can get our own place in Boston come August.

After this week I'm going back to Utah to hang with my mom and 18 year old brother until August. Hopefully I can get a job, or make enough resin stuff to get me through. I'm hoping to sell some stuff around Moab. It's a neat little hippie town so I'm sure there will be people to sell to. I'll hand out business cards and talk to the local consignment shops. There are lots of funky little shops with handmade stuff. There are plenty of little girls who love pink things too. Or maybe I'll get a job at the gas station. Whatever happens I just want to be able to save some money for the big move and to put down money for a new house/appartment.

Being in Denver is making me really excited to live in a big city! Boston is going to be a great adventure. Mostly I'll be glad to be reuninted with Jon. We could be in Alaska for all I care. I just want to see my baby again!

SCHOOL'S OUT FOREVER

YEAH! I made it to the end and graduated! I have a BFA now. It's pretty sweet.

My family was here for a week and that was pretty awesome. It was so great to see my mom and little brother especially. I'm closest to them in the family. We spent time at the beach, we went out to dinner, we cooked dinner at the house. Jon got to meet everyone and that was really awesome. They all seemed to really like him and he was charming and funny. It felt so good to have someone I'm proud to introduce to my family. I never have to make apologies for Jon. He's awesome.

It's been a full week since the graduation ceremony... I've been using my time wisely. Playing FFIX, then I'll move on to Wild Arms 3, FFX, FFXII, or Chrono Cross. I love RPGs. I love stories and puzzles and intrigue and misteries to solve and little widgets to find and sidequests. I just love it. I've got a bunch of DS games like the new Zelda and all the Phoenix Wright games currently out. I've got some of the old FF games on DS too. How exciting!

What I really need to do is start casting resin every day but I need to get more resin first. Maybe I can ask Jon to take me to Michael's this afternoon when he gets back from work. What I really want is a gallon kit so that I don't have to worry about this shit for a while but oh well. It'll have to wait. I'm really hoping that having more time to dedicate to my resin stuff it'll take off and start selling more, at least online. Most of my sales have been to friends and classmates, but school is over so that well has dried up. People go nuts over some of my necklaces and stuff... but none of them have an Etsy account. Some of them have never even heard of Etsy. I need to either find a bigger, even more popular place to sell my stuff or I need to find a way to advertise better. I've never been very good with the social networking stuff because I'm always afraid to a) seem like an asshole for plugging my own stuff b) make an idiot out of myself somehow. I guess it's time to get over that. I don't really know the best way to advertise on a forum or something like that though. People on the internet, and in general I suppose, don't like to share their "secrets" because they're afraid of being out sold or they're just an asshat. People in the States don't like to share their money making/customer grabbing ideas or strategies because we're all a bunch of jerks.

In the mean time I will be making more stuff. I want to do some pieces that are just stripes of glitter, maybe with some candy stripes too. I have ideas... But right now I'm gonna get back to FFIX. It might not be the best game ever but at least it's fun and a great way to lose track of time.