INSPIRATION MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND

I just wanted to make a quick little list of people who inspire me to create, to keep trying, to work my hardest, and to be my best!

First up we have Twinkie Chan!
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This woman inspired me to learn how to crochet! I had a couple months of being marooned in the desert at my mother's house after graduating college. I needed a distraction from the misery of doing absolutely nothing all day (it was too hot to cast resin cause of no a/c in 100º heat) so I decided to learn a new craft! I fell in love with crochet. Twinkie was a huge part of that. I saw the sculptural potential in crochet that knitting just didn't seem to possess. My mom is a knitter and I always wanted to learn a yarn craft to feel closer to her but I just never could wrap my head around it. Crochet was a different matter. I started to understand it almost instantly. I'm not a whiz or anything but i've started sculpting with crochet and it feels amazing. My portfolio for my MFA applications is going to be so soft and fuzzy! Thanks Twinkie!

Next we have Athina LaBelle of Eclectic Essentials Boutique!

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I just recently discovered Athina's work. She inspired me to start playing more with pastel colors in my resin! I always left the pastel colors in a corner, all neglected. I love pastel but I would forget about it in favor of brighter, more saturated colors because that's what I usually am drawn to. Seeing how this stay-at-home mom/jewelry designer used pastel colors to such wonderful ends I was really inspired to start playing with them myself. I've fallen so much in love with my pastel glitters! I've been mixing pastel with bold saturated colors and the result is really great. I'm loving it and loving her jewelry! She's also inspired me in part to start working with chunky curb chains and beading for the necklace part of my pendants. I'm so tired of slapping a pendant that I worked hard on onto a commercial ball chain with no personality. I want my chains to be just as DIY and fun as the jewelry they suspend.

And now for Amy Shrinkle!

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This girl makes some of the most awesome clothes! Not only that but she makes her clothes in more than just her own size. I love that! There are a number of other handmade clothing sellers who ONLY make clothes in their own size. I might not be a fatty anymore but I'm tall and have wide hips so a size 4-6 is out of the question for me! Even at my skinniest (I looked like an unhealthy twig!) I was a size 10-11 because of my height and bone structure. It feels really good to know that there are designers who understand that there are different types of girls out there and they ALL deserve to look fabulous! I can't wait for the launch of her Sugarpill cosmetics line. She always has amazing makeup on and I can't wait to see what the mind behind her makeup looks has been working on for 4 years! You know that after 4 years of conceptualizing and building that her makeup isn't going to be repackaged junk that you can get for $5 an ounce. It's going to be bold, original and fun. I'm so looking forward to it!

This next girl was a close friend some years ago. We lost touch a little bit but I still hold her in my heart. I'm talking about Roux!

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Hilary (aka Roux aka Tom Hoshino) was a really good friend back in the early 2000's. I even went to visit her in Cincinnati! I had a blast with her. There was a group of us on VLC (before it was mostly just furry porn). We all drew each other's characters constantly. We talked all the time. It was a good feeling to be part of that group. I miss all those people. I started moving away from the anthro scene but I still love the colorful characters and I don't think there's anything weird about anthro art. The porn can be a little weird but it's not like these people are having sex with REAL animals so whatever. I would never be an advocate of art censorship! Anyway, Hilary still really inspires me! Thanks to her I've been feeling the drawing itch a lot lately. I even drew today! It felt great and I would really like to get back into illustration for fun. I hated being an Illustration major in school but I love drawing. I think I just needed a drawing hiatus. NOT drawing did me a lot of favors but it's starting to feel wrong. I know I have a lot of talent in that area and it's silly to waste it. I know that there are people who would be happy to hear that I'm putting pencil to paper again. Maybe some day my illustrations will be popping up on DeviantArt again! I miss you Hilaroux. You were and still are a big influence on me!

And finally (for now) Sam MacKenzie!

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I LOVE this kid's work. Ha. I say "kid" but he's only a year younger than I am. This Australian is a favorite artist of mine. has been for years. I really look forward to his big sketch compilations. I think I enjoy artists' sketches and unfinished doodles more than their completed pieces. I feel like you learn more about their process and how their brains work from their doodles. I love his range! From pretty girls to silly doodles to big burly men with arms the size of trucks. His drawings can make me laugh and I do love to laugh. Looking at his work makes me BURN to draw things. Particularly cute girls in their underoos! He seems to really understand anatomy to the point of warping and bending it to his will. I like that. I also love boobies! Boobies make me happy. So thanks Sam! Thanks for boobies and inspiration galore!

That's it for now! There are a billion more people and things that inspire me every day. Too many to list really. But as of right this minute these are the people who are on my mind. I wanted to give them some credit for helping me keep the creative juices flowing! Without people to inspire us we would never do anything new or original. No artist can exist in a vacuum. We need other people around us doing things, making things, thinking, breathing. Otherwise we become stagnant and boring. With all the inspiration on the internet there's NO reason to be boring or uninspired. There are a million reasons to make something!

What inspires you internets? Colors? People? Books? Places? We all draw inspiration from somewhere. I would love to hear about yours!!

COMPANIONS OF XANTH

via gamershell.com

via abandonia.com

Via abandonia.com

There's this old game released in 1993 called Companions of Xanth. It's based off a Piers Anthony book called Demons Don't Dream. I never read the book but I LOVED the game. Of course in 1993 I was 8 so I couldn't really appreciate the puns and metaphors that make up the game. Almost every character in the game has a name that is a pun. A great deal of the dialog is puns. There's puzzles and riddles and all kinds of fun word play. I love word play!

Anyway I've been wanting to play this game again for several months but I couldn't for the life of me remember the name of the game, the characters, the release date. Nothing. I searched and searched through databases of video games released in the 1990s but I wasn't finding anything that sounded familiar besides stuff like Bomberman, Final Fantasy VII, and 007 Goldeneye. Not exactly what I was looking for! Finally I called my brother and asked him if he remembered. This hurt my pride a little because I was so determined to find it on my own. It was worth it though because he remembered immediately what I was talking about and gave me the title of the game!

With the title I was able to find an emulator for the game and I'm currently playing through right now! I remember a lot from when I was younger so that's helping solve the puzzles. It's not really a hard game to begin with. I'm playing it for the nostalgia mostly. I'm so glad that I found it and was able to download it for free. It's a lot of fun. Cute and silly with a lot of "Ha! See what they did there?!" with puns and metaphors.

One of the things that always amused me was the metaphors in the game. They're taken very literally. If you kick a bucket in the game you die. Also don't bite any dust! I don't remember if anyone offers to sell you a farm but I wouldn't buy that either! For someone who loves word play it's an excellent game. I think word play is the highest form of language. Knowing your language so well that you can alter it to hilarious ends is a fantastic ability. There are native English speakers in our country who can't enjoy puns because they just haven't learned enough grammar and vocabulary to understand them. That makes me really sad.

Word play is very close to my heart and so are video games! Any childhood favorites that you would love to get hold of? Maybe some vague memories of a game that influenced your life? I would love to hear about other's childhood game memories! Maybe we share some favorites!

And now back to the game!

Update 11:30PM 12/25/09: Just finished Companions of Xanth! It's not a very long game. Total play time was probably 4-6 hours over about 3 days. It's not a long game but it was still lots of fun. Just like I remember it! Only this time around I could fully appreciate the puns! It was worth looking up. I'm really glad I was able to find it again and play. I'm so grateful for the internet and all it has to offer, especially when it comes to old bootlegged games! Maybe I'll look up some more old games from my childhood.

GUILTY PLEASURES

I have a number of guilty pleasures! They range from bad TV, internet celebrities I follow, eating too many cupcakes while my boyfriend isn't looking, to things I say, and clothing combinations.

Here is a list of some of my guilty pleasures!

☆ Charmed - I love that silly show! It's so campy, the acting (at least by the extras and guest stars is usually TERRIBLE! The plot is nonexistent and the dialog is ridiculous. But I love every minute of it. It's so bad it's good!

☆ Cupcakes - This might seem like it doesn't belong but the reason it's a guilty pleasure is I usually eat WAY too many. My boyfriend isn't a health nut or anything but he lost 100lbs this year so he's at least much more health conscious than he used to be. He eats a lot of veggies and lean meat and doesn't want me baking cupcakes all the time because they're too tempting for him to have in the house all the time. He also doesn't like it when I eat too many sweets. We butt heads about this all the time because if I could I would live off cupcakes and candy! Sometimes I sneak cupcakes when he's not around or already asleep. I feel bad about it sometimes but cupcakes are IMPORTANT damnit!

☆ Jeffree Star - I almost never agree with his attitude, especially when he's talking about how he's better than everyone else or telling other people to suck it, but I love him! I have no idea why. Maybe it's because he's a sparkling Glamazon, or because he's a pink haired freak much like me, only he's got a lot more people making him look good than I do. Maybe I just love pretty things. I've always had a weak spot for gay boys in makeup. Whatever the reason I can't seem to stop watching him! I don't like his music and I don't really even like HIM... But I love him. It's weird!

☆ Scene Hair - I LOVE SCENE HAIR! Oooh man it hurts to admit that but I do. I love big, choppy, brightly colored scene hair. The bigger the better. When I got my hair cut over the summer I wanted choppy layers that I could tease up if I wanted. I don't straighten my whole head, just the bangs, so it's not actually "scene hair" but it's close. I've had candy colors in my hair since I was 14 (10 years!) so that's nothing new. I just love the way scene hair looks. It's funky, it's versatile, it's cute! And my hair looks cute with a scene inspired cut!

☆ Hostess Orange Cupcakes - Even though I bake now and make my own awesome orange cupcakes I still love the orange Hostess cupcakes! They don't have any ingredients that you could actually pronounce... In fact I don't think they're actually food but they're so GOOD! I could eat 10 of them in one sitting. I used to buy them almost daily from the gas station on the walk to classes while I was in college. NOM NOM NOM!

☆ Christmas TV Specials - Smurfs Christmas special anyone? I LOVE Christmas specials. It's funny because I HATE Christmas music. I don't even really like Christmas besides getting gifts and seeing family... Hell I don't even really like the family part. My family is NUTS. But I love the TV specials. When I was younger I would be glued to the TV during Christmas break watching all the specials from Smurfs to Scooby-Doo to freaking PAC-MAN! All of it. I love it! I even love the stop motion animation Christmas specials like the Nutcracker. Although the beginning of the Nutcracker would always scare me. The part where little boys and girls who stay up too late get taken away. That would freak me right the fuck out! It still gives me the willies a bit.

☆ ANY Horror Movie - As long as it isn't a slasher flick (with a few exceptions) I will watch it and enjoy it. Sometimes the worse the horror movie the more I love it. The Silent Hill movie? LOVE IT. (Arguably the Silent Hill movie wasn't "bad". It was just going in the same direction of the bad dubbing that the games are victims of. The dialog was stilted and rigid just like in the games and I'd like to think it was done on purpose!) The second and third Resident Evil movies? Ooooh yeah I watched them. They were terrible but I still watched them more than once! I even BOUGHT the second movie! The first RE movie was pretty bad ass though. No complaints there. I'll watch just about ANYTHING with zombies. I love zombies. I'm scared to death of the actual zombie apocalypse. My boyfriend and I have had very serious discussions about what we will do in case of zombies. We've got a plan all laid out and it isn't your average "Go to the ammo shop and load up with guns then hole up in the country" kind of plan. We have PLAN plan! We're gonna SURVIVE that shit! Also we have sworn that if either of us is bit we will kill each other. If he gets bit by a zombie I have promised to pull the trigger and he'd do the same for me. That's real love!

☆ Plaid With Stripes?! - Well not necessarily those two together but I have been known to mix polka dots with stripes and other clashing patterns. I love to wear my floral print leggings with my pink boots that have a doodly map of France printed on them. I love to mix prints that wouldn't/shouldn't go together. I LOVE to clash. It's so much fun to break the rules of fashion and do your own thing. It's gotten to the point where if I'm not clashing in some way I feel uncomfortable! :3

☆ "Where did you get that?!" "Oh this? ...I made it" - I know it's not kosher to brag but when someone asks where I got something I made myself I can't help but blush and feel special when I tell them that I made it myself! The look of amazement on their faces is so priceless and it gives me such a boost! There was a particular time when a woman at my retail job was looking for a specific hat and I just couldn't find it for her. I was wearing a hat I had crocheted the night before. She asked casually "What about that hat (meaning mine), does it come in solid colors?" and I had to say "This hat? Oh... It didn't come from here. I made it." She looked astounded and it really made my day! Having something unique that you just can't buy in the store is priceless.

That's all I got for right now! How about you internets? Anyone want to share their guilty pleasures with me? Everyone has something they love but are just the littlest bit embarrassed by! Charmed is a big one for me. I have a lot of trouble declaring my love for that show because it's so BAD! I kept my Charmed watching secret and would get all sketchy when someone asked me what I was watching! Come on! Share with me!

ATTITUDE VS ACTION

Custom necklace for a 6 year old girl!

Cake or death?!

I've been having some panicky feelings lately about my little business. I'm trying really hard not to let the panic control me or my decisions. It can be SO hard though. Panicking comes pretty easily to me so it's been work to keep it from creeping in and ruining my positive outlook! My boyfriend tries to help but the way he goes about it can sometimes just upset me more. I was reading this article today and afterwards I said something like "I don't think I'll ever be making that kind of money". I didn't mean it to sound defeatist or like I was giving up but my boyfriend can be very black & white about things so he assumed I was just giving up. He then proceeded to give me a lecture about my attitude and how I was giving up before I even started. It really upset me, but when he gets like that there's NOTHING I can say to stop him. He believed that I was throwing in the towel just because I was having some worries and trying to be realistic. Sometimes I get so tired of him refusing to think about what might happen if things fail. And I don't just mean this little business. I mean anything. I NEED to have some sort of contingency plan in case things don't work out but no one seems to want to talk about that kind of stuff. As soon as I mention a worry I have about something not going the way I hope I feel like people give me the tired old "you just have to be positive" "you can't think that way" "you just have to keep working towards so-and-so".

I know that I need to stay positive and not give up. I'm going to keep plugging away and making new things and trying to reach out to people but I can't just pretend like I never get discouraged. I think what really matters is even when I'm not feeling awesome about life I'm still working at it. Isn't that what matters? A positive attitude will only get you as far as you're willing to work. I could be positive all day long about sitting on the couch and eating cookies, but I wouldn't get anywhere doing that. Why do I get attacked for not being the most upbeat person even though I'm still working, still trying, still wanting to make things move along? Attitude is important but ACTION is the real test, isn't it?

It seems, to me, like we place too much importance on attitude and not enough on action. Positive ACTION is what gets things done and causes change. WORKING for the better is so much more effective than being upbeat and hoping that your positive attitude will change the world. Shouldn't we all be allowed to have bad days as long as we don't let them interfere with our work ethic? Can't we be allowed to experience the full range of emotion without being labeled a sourpuss? Personally I would rather be able to truly appreciate the good days because I've been through the bad, experienced what unhappiness is so that I can fully understand what a gift it is to be happy. It becomes a problem when ALL you feel is bad, when nothing can make you smile and there's no cheering up for you. When things move from "I just feel off today" to being depressed most of the time then that's a deeper issue than attitude adjustment.

I'm not saying a positive attitude doesn't help facilitate getting things done, and everyone likes a positive person more than they like Eeyore. I just don't think it's realistic to expect someone to be positive every minute of every day. It puts a lot of strain on a person, having unrealistic expectations. It can be really hard when you're not feeling perky but you're afraid to let people down by showing it. I value transparency in a person. I wear my emotions on my sleeve and while that's not always a good thing for me socially it's not something I want to change about myself. Emotions are important, the bad just as much as the good. I like to feel anything. Feeling feels good, even if it feels bad.

What do you think internets? Anyone have a different opinion? How do you pull yourselves out of a funk? I try cupcakes and funny movies while snuggling with my boyfriend or my piggy dog. I would snuggle the kitten but he's usually too busy playing in the toilet or knocking shit over. :3

I'M NOT MAD I'M JUST DISAPPOINTED

Dog 'stache!

One of the nurses my mom works with made a custom order! I got to paint a horse for the first time and I'm actually pretty proud of the way it turned out. Especially considering that the space I had to work with is pretty small and the brush I had to use was NOT the one I would have preferred. I'll snap some pictures before I send it out tomorrow! It's going to be a Christmas present for a 6 year old. I hope she'll love it.

I've got a gallon resin coming in the mail on Thursday! That's pretty freaking sweet. Also my mother is sending me a whole box of yarn, my ski boots, and some cash to do my Christmas shopping with. I'm so grateful I have a family that helps and cares. This might seem a little weird but I really appreciate that my mother is perfectly OK with giving me money to buy her a Christmas present. I do hope that this is the last year I'll have to spend someone else's money for Christmas. It means a lot that she understand how tight money is, but that I still want to give presents. I just wish I had enough yarn to make everyone in my family hats or something. I need to buy something for my friend who's coming to visit right after Christmas! I want to get her something that really reminds me of her. I'll do some looking as soon as I have a little $$.

Jon has asked me not to bake anything for a bit. He doesn't like having tempting yummies around the house all the time and I understand why. He lost 100lbs in a year and he doesn't want the temptation of cupcakes and brownies all the time. So I'm gonna cool it with the sweets. I should make some bread or something instead! I'll go back to baking sweets when my friend is here and we can pig out on cupcakes!

A pretty serious bitchfest follows so I want to keep that a little more optional...

NEW LISTINGS

I just put up a bunch of new stuff in my Etsy shop! Go check it out, tell me what you think maybe? Epoxyuponyou.Etsy.com

THE STORY SO FAR

Things have been going pretty well in my new life for this first week. I've been making things every day, feeling very productive. Today was about taking pictures and editing them. I'm gonna do some crocheting after this post too. I even ordered an entire gallon of resin! That should keep me busy for a little while.

I sold another necklace today and that made me feel really good. Sure, my Etsy sales are only up to 5 but that's better than 0 by at least 5 :D Yeah. Five sales without any kind of promoting or community involvement isn't so terrible. The people who do make it big with little to no self promotion are rare animals. I shouldn't feel bad for not being one. In a super saturated market like Etsy it's nearly impossible to be noticed without DOING something to get noticed. So I'm gonna do lots of stuff. Once I have 100 items in my shop I'm gonna start sending out emails to blogs to see if they want to feature me. I've also been playing around with the idea of emailing some semi-celebrity types I admire (Audrey Kitching, Raquel Reed, Twinkiechan, etc...) to see if they might want a free necklace/ring/hairclip whatever. That's probably a stretch. I'm sure those kinds of girls have people sending them all kinds of shit all the time but who knows. It might be worth a try? The worst they can do is say no and tell me to get lost I suppose. Being told no, being rejected, still seems pretty scary. I just have to remember that so many successful people had to hear no a billion times before they heard yes. But that one yes is so much more important that all those no's. That needs to be my mantra or something!

So here's what I've been working on so far:

★ Resin, resin, resin!

★ Cute diagonal color block cowl

★ Taking pictures/editing pictures

★ CUPCAKES!!! (I made awesome orange cupcakes today!!

★ Pan frying different things. First was chicken, I tried pan fried shrimp. Both were AMAZING! Thanks Alton Brown for teaching me how to pan fry!

★ Keeping the house clean so that Jon comes home to a comfortable space that he can relax in after work/class. If any hardcore feminists are reading this I hope you understand that I don't do housework to please my man. I do it because my partner has a lot more on his plate than I do and it makes me feel good to help him relax. I never was very domestic but that's only because I had no idea how good it could feel to make another person happy when they're so busy and stressed out. /digression

★ Watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer because it's easy to work while watching something I've seen a billion times and it's like comfort food for me. ❤

★ WORRYING!! That's last on the list because I've been TRYING to do it the least. I still worry though. I worry about my boyfriend, I worry about taking this big chance by cutting my hours at work WAAAAY back and putting all my effort/time/money into this fledgeling business that could very well explode in my face. I'm not letting the fear of failure keep me from trying though. Man what happened to me? I never used to be this positive and upbeat! Let's hope it's a good thing and not a sign of a brain tumor or something ☠

NEW BEGINNINGS

Some things are about to change! I'm going to be telling my job that I'm only available to work Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday mornings. They can pick two of those days a week, or one, or none. This is so that I can devote the majority of my time to crafting! I'm not going to sit on my butt and hope that someone "discovers" me. I'm going to make things happen. It was very immature of me to hope that success would just happen to me. Sure, some people are very lucky and succeed instantly but most of us have to work our asses off so that's what I'm going to do! It's time to get involved!

I want crafting to be my business and not just a hobby type thing. I want my life to be about glitter, resin, yarn, crochet hooks, baking, etc.... Making money for a big company that doesn't appreciate my efforts or skills isn't what I went to art school for. I wanted to have the skills to make a modest living off what I love. What I love is making things.

I'm really looking forward to being a business woman, to getting my name and my work out there. I'm setting some goals for myself and I'm going to meet them.

For starters:
1) 100 individual pieces in my inventory
2) After 100 pieces it's time to send out emails to craft/fashion/whatever blogs that I enjoy asking if they would be interested in featuring my work
3) Keeping track of inventory, costs, customers
4) Applying to every craft fair I can find that I feel my work would fit into (probably not the "high class" type craft fairs that only stuffy rich people go to. I don't think they would be interested in glittery jewelry or colorful/cute hats)
5) Get active in the selling community! It's time to let Etsy know who I am and what I'm all about.
6) Eventually (and this will probably take some serious time), once I have a following, open a shop on my own where no percentage of my sales is taken out and there's no cost to list new items. (That's a major long term goal)

This is all going to take some time and some serious effort but after working at a job that I HATE I know it will be worth it. I want to answer to no one but myself. I want my time to be my own and I want a life I can be proud of. Making this work will also mean relocating will be much easier. If I have a successful internet business I can move wherever I want as long as my resin and my yarn go with me. I have a few concerns about going back to school for my MFA in a couple years AND trying to keep an internet business going (hopefully thriving by 2011) while doing masters work but I'll figure that out when I get there.

I got some new molds in the mail today! Three new heart molds because the last set all broke, a tie mold and a mustache mold. I'm excited to get started with them. Unfortunately there's not much I can do today because I have to work in a few hours and pouring resin can be an all day thing, even if most of the time is spent waiting for the resin to set up enough to embed. Tomorrow is a different story though! I'm gonna get busy and stay that way.

One last thing before I play a little World of Warcraft and then put on some eyeliner before work: I'm not sure Epoxy Upon You is the right name for me anymore? When the name was chosen I was ONLY making resin things, but now I'm branching out into crochet. I want a name that won't pigeonhole me. I need a name that will give me the freedom to branch out in the future and won't limit me to one medium. I do like Epoxy Upon You though. I still think it's funny. Who knows. I'll keep thinking about it and see what happens!