Friday, August 14, 2009


So here's the story. Jon and I thought we had this nice two bedroom, two bathroom apartment all lined up. We thought everything was going smoothly and we would have this place by Monday. Well it's not happening. The landlord (who owns the building, he doesn't just manage it) raised the monthly rent by $50 AFTER we had filled out the application. Sketchy! If he's comfortable doing something like that what else is he capable of? We didn't want to find out.

So Jon, being the amazing man he is, found a different place in Dedham. It's a townhouse so that means two floors and a basement! There's a washer and dryer that would be all ours. The kitchen looks nice and very cookable. It looks new and clean. Spacious. I'm excited to have two floors! Jon is over there right now talking to the owner ironing things out. His credit should check out just fine. He's a good, responsible boy. I trust him to ask all the right questions and to let me know about anything important. Hopefully we can get all this sorted and have a place to live by next week. That's the most important thing. I'm going to be there on Wednesday the 20th so we NEED to have a place by then. Jon will make it happen.

I wish I could be there with him. He sounds so stressed and run down on the phone and it breaks my heart. He's doing all of this on his own. My only contribution has been the money from my grandparents. I just want to give him a hug. I think he really needs one right now. Sex would be nice too but we'll have to wait until Wed for that. Le sigh.

So that's what's up. We're working on it! I'm packing up my things (finally) and trying to mentally prepare for the grueling flight from Salt Lake City to Boston. At least it's over night so hopefully I can sleep a little? Maybe.

The dog and cat are all ready to go accept that Orson needs a certificate of health but that's easy peasy. Just plop him on the vet's table, a few pokes and prods and he'll be pronounced healthy as a bull moose. Only smaller. And sweeter. <3

Sunday, August 9, 2009


I haven't been doing much of anything out here. It's like being marooned on a deserted island. I see about as many people as you would see on a desolate little island in the middle of the pacific and there's about as much to do. So I sit, I read, I do stupid stuff online. I ran out of pink yarn so I can't finish the scarf I was working on. It's too hot to cast any resin. Thank goodness for the Harry Potter books or I'd be a pathetic blob of pudding sobbing on my bed.

It takes so much WORK not to go totally nuts. Being bored is getting on the express train to Crazy Town. Having nothing to keep you occupied while you worry about stuff you can't do anything about isn't healthy. I've had way too much time to think about everything and that leads to doubting myself and other people in my life. Most of me knows that it's temporary, it'll be over forever once I get to Boston. There's this little part of me that keeps saying that I'll never get there. This little, evil, nagging voice keeps telling me that things will be different between Jon and I. That I can't trust him. I keep having to fight down this feeling that he's sick of me. I don't know if it's because having a relationship over the phone is one of the hardest (and worst) things to do... Or maybe I'm sick of myself - and feeling like this - so I expect everyone else to hate my attitude too. I know I haven't been easy to listen to. I know it's hard to be Jon in this situation. He can't help me at all accept by finding us a house, and he's working on that.

I just can't shake these yucky feelings that everything is wrong. All I can do is hope that I'll feel better once I'm not in Moab Utah anymore.